Writing about my Findings

Yesterday I started writing about my findings for my short research project which started out as a critical review of methods of practice employed by VR narrative storytellers. It started that way and then promptly veered off track.

Today I am only about 2000 words in and already exhausted... My mind has been wandering ('tis why I am here) and I have been finding myself wishing that instead of having to defend my research and findings with clever words and facts I could just don my armour and sword and stand in the ring. Anyone who has a problem with my findings or assertions can draw their sword and we can resolve our dispute in an honourable and traditional way... Part of why my mind wanders to this fantasy is in the simplicity of it all, I either succeed or fall. But also because deep down under my civilised academic trappings I am an angry man who is sick of being stepped on. I think it is important to clarify that I actually find academia to be one of the few bastions of fair and honest treatment in the modern world and it is not with the academic system I have fault. I am actually currently in a huff about capitalism, the wealth gap, and the feelings of powerlessness that come with those issues.

The reason they have encroached into my academic thinking is partly because I know that if I had more capital I could conduct much more worthwhile research. Meanwhile several of my colleagues have recently received grants and are squandering them creating competing software and hardware solutions in an attempt to design a profitable product... capitalism...

I'm tired, i'm sick of monetisation... What ever happened to the concept of community and working for the benefit of all mankind...

What makes me more despondent is when I notice capitalism in my own thinking. Like when I fail to make the entirety of my code available to the public because I want to retain some of my unique features for myself. One of these days I am just going to sail away into the sunset and forget the modern world and its dark influences.